Photo by Sweet One.
Yesterday, Carson and I decided to carry on a tradition started by my ex-boyfriend, the illustrious J. the Second. (So-called because he succeeded not-so-illustrious ex-boyfriend J. the First, obviously.) J. the Second has recently has made something of himself and spent a two-year stint in the Peace Corps, followed by med school . . . but while we were dating, he was a delinquent whose major claim to fame was that he introduced me to a little game that I like to call Let’s Get Drunk at the Movies!
This is how Let’s Get Drunk at the Movies! works: Buy a bottle of whiskey. Pick a movie, the more terrible the better. Buy one of those gigantic movie theater sodas. Find your seats, preferably somewhere in the back where no people are near you. (This shouldn’t be hard because you picked the worst movie at the theater.) Slurp out about two inches of your soda. Replace with whiskey. Enjoy!
Let’s Get Drunk at the Movies! is not only fun because you’re, you know, getting drunk at the movies. It’s fun because of what comes after you leave the movie theater, still drunk. Being drunk in situations where you’re not used to being drunk is a consciousness-expander and leads to all sorts of decisions you wouldn’t normally make, leading to many mini-adventures. Thus why, after finishing off half a bottle of whiskey between the two of us and watching Saw 3D-which-was-actually-only-2D-because-it’s-really-hard-to-watch-3D-movies-while drunk, Carson and I found ourselves at the pawn shop down the road . . . buying a copy of Top Gun, which is, as I was soon to find out, the boy version of Dirty Dancing.
We also went to the mall and spent about twenty minutes looking at calendars with pictures of kittens in them.
Today, this conversation happened:
H: If we were fighter pilots, I’d never let you die.
C: If Jigsaw caught you and put you in a trap to test my loyalty, I’d save you.
H: Also, if Tom Cruise were serenading you in a bar, I’d never let you go home with him. No matter how drunk you were.
C: You’re the best friend anyone could ever have.
H: You never, never leave your wingman.
